bailing out the bees

Now I constantly bitch about federal bailouts for the banking and automotive industries, but I have finally found the worse example of how to spend money.  CNN recently ran this article detailing a plan wherein over £10 million was pledged by a consortium sponsored by the British government for research over what is happening to declining bee population (Thanks Andy for pointing out this travesty).  The U.S. federal government has pledged another $5 million.  

"Now aren't bees important pollinators?" you ask.  "Shouldn't we figure out what's killing them?"  Absolutely not.  And as much as I would like to take credit, I am not the one killing the bees and now just trying to cover it up.  First, you must understand that bees are enemy number one.  More than snakes, more than sharks, in fact more than all other animals combined, bees kill more Americans every year (almost 60) than any other animals.  Not to mention it hurts real bad to get stung.  And there is almost no defense to a bee attack.  You can't out run them, they can fly, and you can't even punch them in the face.  They are simply terrible.

Why should we be using research money to save bees.  Nobody likes them, and nobody ever will.  I pledge that I will do my part and continue the bee genocide, killing any bees that give me the chance.  In fact, I just sprayed a nest on my neighbors porch the other day.  Who knows, maybe one day my children can live in a country where they don't have to live in fear for the next terrorist bee attack.